1. |
21
04:22
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When I was 10 I was 20, when I was 20 I was 12
I spent four years of high school trying to be someone else
And then three years of college, trying to learn whatever I can
Just to come back for another and find I don't give a damn
I never wanted to grow up, I swore I'd never break down
So I kept dancing in cooridors, trying to be someone's clown
I never raced for the finish, figured life would find a way
But now time's going faster, going faster every day
And all the storefronts are closing, drifting out to the sea
And I can't even think about what's gonna happen to me
I'm 21 in an instant, got nothing to fear
And I wanna be 21 while 21's still here
I know I gotta look forward, I know I gotta finish school
But now we're running out of money, yeah, we're running out of fuel
I know the real world keeps turning, I don't wanna stand still
But I'm afraid if no one makes me move, then I never will
You know I've shuffled and shambled through a quarter of my life
Before too long I'll have a mortgage, maybe kids and a wife
And the suburbs will all vanish, the coastlines will recede
And it'll be way too late for me to get what I need
Am I too late for adventure? Did I pass up my chance?
Should I have reached for that soft hand and asked her to dance?
I won't be 21 later, I'm only 21 now
And I wanna be 21 while I still know how
Now the world's tipping over, not much more time to be young
My dad warned me I'd be finished before I knew I'd begun
I got one year left of freedom, eighteen months at the best
Then it's a life full of compromise and working to death
I wanna cast off my worries, I wanna scream them out loud
Cuz there's an old man who'd kill to be where I am right now
I wanna leap without looking, I wanna run some red lights
I wanna make love to a stranger and not spend the night
I wanna run like a child, I wanna walk like a man
I wanna put all my faith in a rock n roll band
I'm 21 for a moment, 21 for a song
And I wanna be 21 before 21's gone
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2. |
Cosplay
03:40
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Does it ever bother you the way he never seems to care
or feign an interest in the things you loved before you met?
Does it ever bother you the way he picks out what you'll wear
for these occasions so that you can make a perfect set?
This used to be the place where you could feel most free
But now you're an accessory
You're a sidekick, you're refrigerator bound
But you can't help wanting him around
Cuz it's a cosplay, it's a secret identity
You don't wanna be yourself
You're thinking maybe it's the wrong way
to get somebody to love you
And at the end of a long day you'll know it isn't quite right
Cuz you can't sleep in something so bright and skintight
It's okay to show what's under the costume
You met him at a summer con. Such divine providence, he claimed!
He wore a purple suit and you were dressed as Harley Quinn
Remember how it turned you on the way he called you by her name
up in the hotel suites, tangled up in checkered sheets?
It wasn't all that much later that you felt so lost
He liked you best as Emma Frost
His ruby-covered eyes could not resist
It makes you wonder if you still exist
Cuz it's a cosplay, it's a secret identity
You don't wanna be yourself
You're thinking maybe it's the wrong way
to get somebody to love you
And at the end of a long day you'll know it isn't quite right
Cuz you can't sleep in something so bright and skintight
It's okay to show what's under the costume
Won't you show me?
So bright and skintight
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3. |
Neurology
03:14
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What we had wasn't real, wasn't special
It probably achieved its full potential
It was pretty good for me and it was awful for you
and if I stopped texting you, you'd forget it altogether
But I'll remember you forever
It's been months and years between you and me
But I see your face in strangers, in the people on TV
When I think about that night, the Republicans were right
Because I'll never love that recklessly again
And I want to
It's a mystery to me
It's a study in Neurology
It an echo, it's a shadow that I miss
And I wish you'd just get out
cuz you're the only one I dream about
and to tell the truth, I regret everything I did
except the first night that we kissed
(Lie to me) yeah, tell me it's alright
(Lie to me) that you remember me well
(Lie to me) that I didn't blow my chance
It's a mystery to me
It's a chemical dependency
It's a whisper, it's a flash, it doesn't register
It doesn't exist, but it's useless to deny
Can I picture us alone this time
and remember that one moment you were mine?
Oh, I want to, I want to
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4. |
Others
05:20
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Don't ask and I won't tell
It's not as if we even know them all that well
We'll talk about anything else
But it's the only time when we can be ourselves
I'll brush your hair back
You'll shoot me a look that says
"What the hell are you doing? But please do it already,
I've been waiting weeks for this"
I'll move in so close, our lips an inch apart
And then we'll go our separate ways
'cause we belong to others
Come home to bedside lights
We're dodging questions about where we've been tonight
We lie, but there's nothing to hide
As long as we don't touch, then honor's satisfied
But what's the difference? We look them in the eyes
and say "I'm forever your lover and I've forsaken all others,"
with a silent asterisk
Their arms around us, we kiss them goodnight
Our eyes are shut so tight
'cause we belong to others
How could I be such a coward?
Nobody gains from this.
You call, and I'm calling it off
I try to explain that this is not the life I want
You cry, and I'm keeping track
One weight is lifted while another
grips my shoulders and breaks my back
This should be easy, doing what is right
Thought this kind of thing was objective
But from another perspective, I just threw away my life
She lets her hair down and says "honey, come to bed"
But it's you inside my head
'Cause we belong
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5. |
Living at Home
03:33
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I'm doing better than I was before
I got a part-time job at a record store
I'm still borrowing the keys, and I'm still paying rent to my mom
I'm not crazy 'bout the hours, but it's better than a grown-up job
I'm single, but I chose to be
And while it's not all it's cracked up to be
I get my kicks where I can, and I get 'em just often enough
It's not perfect, but it's better than being in love
I'm living at home
Sitting at the bottom of the stairs
I still feel almost grown, and it's never enough
The feeling isn't going anywhere
And neither am I
Playing at the bar this weekend
To the same twelve kids again
I should count myself lucky that I've got a pack of friends like this
But it would be great to play for someone
that I didn't go to high school with
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6. |
Graveyard Song
03:27
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I've got things to do
There's work to be done, and I'm sitting here
I look out my window in the opposite direction
Of where you are
Of where you are
Of where I should be, but I'm sitting here
I pretend that I'm working 'cause that means I'll see you
As soon as I'm done
Never knew I could be so amused
By the innocent thoughts of the things that we do
With our clothes still on
You've been here all day
You woke up in my bed and you never left
Now we walk through the graveyard
With fingers in shackles and a long list of names
Got a list of names
And mean little things that you say to me
With hours of smiles and half-crooked glances
And awkward romances
Never knew I could be so enthused
By the tiniest things that attract me to you
Without trying
Never knew what a sunrise could do
Now I'm raising a glass up to ten thousand new mornings after
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7. |
||||
Don't ask and I won't tell
It's not as if we even know them all that well
We'll talk about anything else
But it's the only time when we can be ourselves
I'll brush your hair back
You'll shoot me a look that says
"What the hell are you doing? But please do it already,
I've been waiting weeks for this"
I'll move in so close, our lips an inch apart
And then we'll go our separate ways
'cause we belong to others
Come home to bedside lights
We're dodging questions about where we've been tonight
We lie, but there's nothing to hide
As long as we don't touch, then honor's satisfied
But what's the difference? We look them in the eyes
and say "I'm forever your lover and I've forsaken all others,"
with a silent asterisk
Their arms around us, we kiss them goodnight
Our eyes are shut so tight
'cause we belong to others
How could I be such a coward?
Nobody gains from this.
You call, and I'm calling it off
I try to explain that this is not the life I want
You cry, and I'm keeping track
One weight is lifted while another
grips my shoulders and breaks my back
This should be easy, doing what is right
Thought this kind of thing was objective
But from another perspective, I just threw away my life
She lets her hair down and says "honey, come to bed"
But it's you inside my head
'Cause we belong
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Dylan Roth's Deadshirt Records Queens, New York
Dylan Roth and his friends make rock music.
Check out thehellyeahbabies.com for Dylan’s main ongoing musical project.
Contact Dylan Roth's Deadshirt Records
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